You grow up hearing adults and even strangers talking about focusing and doing things to set in motion a future of “independence”. But there are dark sides to that conversation that they don’t have with you. Because unfortunately, it is things you have to learn through experience, mainly failures.
I think everyone reaches a point in their lives where that feel worthless, useless, un-needed, alone….
Maybe you feel unwanted. And when people tell you their problems, you think to yourself, “are they serious?!”
The truth is, independence only really truly begins when we come to the realization that when we look in the mirror, the person staring back is the only real true person we can count on.
Being co-dependent is a myth. It’s not possible without conditions that normally destroy a relationship. Someone could offer the air from their own lungs while you’re suffocating and then later, ask to cut down all the trees in your forest as repayment. There are costs to every handout you receive.
True, raw compassion is a liar. Humans aren’t truly capable of raw, unequivocal emotion. There are layers of needs buried inside of beautifully wrapped present.
But growing up, the things you hear about independence aren’t completely untrue. You really do need to listen, focus, and prepare for the future.
Even love won’t do it for you. And those you think will help you, they go away, they grow old and forget, or they pass on from this world. And you are left with that one person staring back at you in the mirror.
I do not write this to be negative. Only to be revealing of the revelations I have come to in my own life.
Definition of independent:
free from outside control; not depending on another’s authority
Depending on others is like a prison you can’t seem to escape. It’s why adults try their best to prepare us, to dump us into this world. It is a cruel one. It’s as though you go into a battle, and even if you return, you return with scars unimaginable. Battered, bruised, and never the same.
And there’s finally that defining moment in your life where realization takes hold, and you enter the final faze of life where each decision you make affects the next one and every blink of your eyes is more important than the one before.
It’s why a lot of people stay in relationships and marriages that are not happy in. Because they don’t allow true realization to take hold out of fear. They never learn to live a life that is truly their own. Two becomes one, because one feels like a half on its own.
My advice is, no thanks on that. Break free, release others from your path. Take hold. Breathe. Look in the mirror one more time. You’re staring out at that cliff of independence, there’s a breeze blowing across your face.
Now, close your eyes. Run. Jump………