Hug Me Mama

Hold me Mama,

I can’t hide anymore.

I’m scared and alone,

And my whole body’s sore.

Hug me tight,

I need every ounce of love and care,

Even though in the past I didn’t let you.

I’m saying out loud, it’s different now,

And I need all that you can spare.

Can I be little, just once more?

And let you brush my hair?

Let’s go to one more yard sale,

Drive up to a lookout and just stare.

Forgetting for even a moment,

The days ahead that will take up the room.

And all of the sadness, and most of all,

the darkness and gloom.

Hold me Mama.

I need you to see,

How beautiful I think you are,

And just how much you mean to me.

I forgive you Mama.

Can you forgive me?

For not seeing the sadness,

And the way you’ve grown weak in your knees?

Can you tell me you believe in me?

And I made you full of pride?

Even though I’ve accomplished nothing,

And couldn’t even make it as a bride?

Can you tell me stories of the times things were good?

Or tell me what’s gonna happen, if things don’t turn out the way they should?

Hug me Mama.

I need something, anything today.

Before the days slip away from us,

And all hope has gone array.

I love you Mama.

Sick or not, it will always ring true.

Even when I’m sad,

And tears stream down my baby blues.

I’m here Mama.

Still here, writing these words.

Struggling to drive to the store, and trying to focus,

As I take these sharp curves.

I just smiled and spit my drink Mama,

Thinking of all the times I’ve pranked you.

And how wrecked your nerves must be by now when I’m around,

Thinking I’m always near the corner,

Jumping out with airhorns, trying to get a rise or two.

I hope you’re well Mama.

I’m thinking of you today.

I love you Mama,

In every form, always and forever,

Yesterday and today.

Deserving of Nothing

Photo by Anastasiya Lobanovskaya on Pexels.com

I am a heartbreaker

Standing and swaying by myself

I am that dusty, dangerous book

You make sure to purposely leave on the shelf.

I am an acidic weakness

Yet, you still feel a pull

Beating on your chest and fooling you slowly

Setting all the fires, leaving ashes and crippling every rule.

My footsteps leave soot in their wake

And every flip of my hair, a rope with a noose

If you know what’s good, stay away for heaven’s sake,

In the end, I shouldn’t be the one you choose.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

But there’s another side of me

That sits innocently, a victim of my own soul.

Constantly leaving destruction in my own wake,

Always consuming, but never leaving me whole.

Yearning to feel pure love,

Not deserving at all.

Seeming to trip so close to it,

But a magnetic pull always keeping me from the fall.

I want to dance around in a long dress,

And feel like the most beautiful woman in the room.

Float around without worry, sexy and limitless,

Just one day without doom.

But alas I’m a heartbreaker,

hips swaying in a walk away.

Braving shadows alone, no permanent takers,

Shattered pieces, beautiful decay….