Misery Loves Company (9-27-17)

dark fog forest haze
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And I can feel his whisper on the side of my neck…

Moving up like a cold, dripping wet goosebump..

When it reaches my ear, it cries out, “take me”

In that moment, with his whispers, I am lit on fire, yet calm and for the first time in what

seems like centuries, free.

He touches me, and all I can think of is melting into him…

When he speaks, I want more of the knowledge he hides deep inside.

When he kisses me, I feel as though I don’t even want to breathe, unless it’s the breath

from his mouth, the air from his lungs.

This fervent attack on one another seems to be instantaneous, and nothing can stop it…

Like a beast in the shadows,

always waiting to connect two souls so rare,

that even the most wise wouldn’t have

thought existed…

But the beast, she is also cruel.

For she hid within the shadows much too long.

And in turn, these two souls have been separated by time, by circumstance, and now join

her in the shadows to connect.

The beast, I assume was miserable, and could bare her darkness no more, and chose to

then bring these souls together, in the dark..

But one day, I will feel this whisper on my neck in the light..

I will breathe the air from your lungs,

with early morning dew falling onto the tip

of my nose..

I will melt into you while the sunlight glimmers over our freedom skin.

And I will be whole..
And for the first time, I will not just tell you I love you.

I will show you out loud.

And this beast shall be cast back to her shadow to be doomed to a life of darkness..

But the two souls shall be forever interwoven and nothing will ever stop them or come between them again..

Not even the beast, who in her misery,selfishly kept true love at bay for her own devices.
After all, misery loves company..

This Love is My Forever (6-25-18)

i hate nothing about you with red heart light
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Each day she yearns for him,

And his perfect touch.

And each day she must be without him,

Becomes a little too much.

She can see their future,

Like it’s staring her right in the face.

She tries to connect the missing pieces,

and struggles to find her place.

He gives her hope that all the numbness

could get weaker,

And in return, he says he loves her, which

makes her fall deeper.

If anyone were to ask her,

what she sees when someone says love,

she’d quickly say his incredible name, and the father above.

She fights to get her freedom, and finally

remove all the tethers.

Because she won’t hesitate to say to the world,

that with him, she would spend forever.

My love, sit down and relax, and put up your feet.

Your day has been long, full of stress, and the mountains so steep.

Let me cook you a meal, and massage your back.

Always encourage you, and keep you on track.

Let me kiss you each day, and remind you

that love is here always.

And let me stand by you forever, for the

rest of both of our days.

Can you see it? I can. Each day lived out fully.

And each day, my love grows stronger,

As well as these forces that pull me.

Always look at me, exactly the way that you look

at me right now.

With those beautiful dark eyes.

Loving me in silence,

with an abounding vow.

I’ll never give up on you, and you do the same.

And this love will defeat darkness, doom and gloom,

Always and eternity,

For all our remaining days….

There Is A Girl (9-26-18)

journey overlookThere is a girl

Every daydream leads her to a forest.

A forest that she has never seen.

A forest that she has never stepped a single toe in.

This girl, but a fleeting breeze of wind in this forest.

She walks, her footsteps echoing through the trees. All the shimmers of light seemingly slowing down to a slow motion, as if stopping time, just for her.

This girl, doesn’t know where she is walking to, only that every time she is here, something pulls her.

One day, in this daydream, she finally walks enough to a place where she can see the most beautiful bluff ledge up ahead.

There are the most beautiful butterflies, birds, and creatures she does not recognize flying above it.

She begins to get the sudden urge to run towards it.

So, run she does.

While running, she is filled with thoughts of everything she has ever wanted to escape from and decides that when she gets to this ledge, she will not stop, but instead jump and finally be free from all that has chased her there.

Oh this girl, she has foreseen many ways that her time would come to pass, but never

one so beautiful as the final jump she would take.

As she runs, she feels a sort of spiritual weight begin to melt off of her. Almost faster than the sweat that now poured down her brow.

Tears begin to trickle down her face. She’s never been in so much pain, and yet, so much bliss at the same time.

Her end was nearing closer, and she couldn’t help but feel so at peace with it. It was a miraculous feeling to finally feel so free from the chains that had long rusted around her ankles, and shackles that had long caused the trimmers in her hands.

She began to feel this overwhelming anticipation that something magnificent was waiting for her in the unknown of her jump.

As if when she leapt, there would be no bottom to land.

Only a new beginning that she couldn’t explain, and an ending to everything she had known.
The ledge was within feet of her.

She said a final prayer, and a goodbye she’d hoped would find its way to those she’d cared for on the wings of these mysterious butterflies that had pulled her here.

This was it. It was time. She threw her arms open wide, a final tear streamed down her face, she exhaled one last time, and with a final smile, she leapt.

She leapt as high as the wind would carry her, soared, freedom was bliss, and…….
There is a girl.

Every daydream leads her to a forest.

A forest that she has never seen.

A forest that she has never stepped a single toe in.

This girl, but a fleeting breeze of wind in this forest.
She is sure, she will be back here tomorrow.
And the forest, it will be waiting…….

Retribution (8-17-18)

woman wears black sleeveless top
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Are you intrigued by the blood that drips from my teeth?

More than that that is pumping in my veins..
This constant siren within me, pulsating my hands to do these things that I can not control. The tiniest part of me that says, do not jump yet. For there is much still left to do.

Jump only when the last person has heard the piercing of the knife that slides in and out of this heart. Blackened like a fish on a plate, with spices.
Some would say this pain is intricately woven through my soul so beautifully. And they would even say that they could yearn for the spirit that comes from within it.

But it is only because they have not experienced the fullness of its wrath.
For if you ever let this pain sit atop you, and embrace you with its love, it will violently claw you open and find orgasmic pleasure in the spewing of your blood. Once you let it in this position of control, you can not stop it. Give it any amount of control, and there is no going back.

You have no idea the amount of dead places this pain breeds from.
Your God cannot save you from the inequities you have so contributed. And maybe your victim will burn along side you. For the hate you started inside.
There so be, burn, burn, burn. If there is no relief herein, where shall there be any?
I would not let go of this pain now if it was all but handed to me. For it is tattooed into me like beautiful scars cut with the sharpest of knives. And you will not also take this from me.
It is mine, just as your lonely death will be your own. They will bury it with me just as a priest with his cross. And only then, will I breathe a breath of rest….

Hear My Call (8-16-18)

woman holding two kitchen knives
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And oh if we could only ever walk in these shadows.
These flashes of symmetry.

Oh what I would I give to follow only the shadows of your feet on this soggy earth.

To lead a life of simplicity with so much chaos.
And those who would defy the knowledge of these distant flashes, would someday bow down to the knocking of their dreams. The toss and turn of an imminent nightmare in which I already dwell. Beauty it is to me, this darkness.
And you, in all of your light, have your own shade of shadow. Can but only add to the  madness of this benevolence.
Your hand touching the ruins of a marked soul, each stroke writing a new line on this archaeography…
An armistice, if you will, between the likes of Azazel and God the father who cast him down.
Show mercy always my wilted lover, to this melting heart, in this boiling melting pot.

For love only breeds grace for as long as we feed it life.
Bite the nap of my neck like a sweet sugarplum, and I shall hold back my poison for all enemies who strike us.
And for you, I shall save every inch and every globule of essence my spirit could ever produce.
Once you have endulged me, we are tied as one in this walk. And no matter where we drift or journey, our spirits will call to the other…..

Dress of Pain (5-17-18)

silhouette of man standing on grass field during night time
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Smile my dear, they say

As she peels her eyes open to another day.

Not girly, but her dress of pain,

flows around and around, and the anchors,

her train.

Bouncing around, arms in the air,

letting it all go,

rain falling on her face, going with the flow.

Waters full of chemicals, burning her skin, 

and people trying to reach and help her,

but she’s not letting them in.

Her body has turned against her,

sores and wounds lie open, and it bleeds

infected memories, filling her soul with

the blood of her past and until its emptied,

she’ll never truly be free.

Look at the crown of lovely, they place on her soft hair.

Try and cover the ugly.

Paint it up, brush it down, it just doesn’t seem fair.

Stop wishing she would come around, and

leave her where she lays.

She’ll either get up or die,

And it may not be today.

So, go on, move forward spinning,

she dances to that music too;

An anthem of the chaos,

that has always rang true.

Spinning round and round, in this dress of pain….