Ghost Lover

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You rip my blouse without evening touching me..

Sweat drips from my body without a single finger laid upon it.

How can I be running down this path in the woods feeling both euphoria and the deepest saddness

I have ever felt, at the same time..

You arch my back without being in the same room with me.

My thoughts of you seem to tide me over until the next time our fingers are puzzle-pieced together

Once again..

You lips must be dry and empty, because they haven’t been placed upon mine in some time now.

What is this love but a clawing in my skin?

I can’t stop it. I don’t want to.

I want it to rip me open like a machete hacking its victim with care and caress.

I want it to take me to a daydream that is inescapable.

Unavoidable…inevitable….ineluctable…ineliminiable….inexorable….

In all of the ways that I have tried to fight it, I want it to consume me in a finality and completeness.

You run your hands violently around my throat without even speaking to me.

I won’t stop wanting.

I am stuck in this eternal loop of yearning.

I could speak unlimited words and ways that your lack of want makes me want more.

It causes me to disgust myself so much so that I don’t who is looking back at me in the mirror that

I regularly make it every point to avoid.

For God’s sake…..want me.

Want me or end me. For good.

Ravish me or push me off this cliff.

Because the pulsating within my body has became too much to bare.

Too much to relieve.

You burn my skin with those eyes. They don’t look at me. And when they do,

they burn a hole straight through me.

I’m reaching out for you.

Strip me bare and naked and do what you must.

In an instant, I’ll drop what task I am pretending, and I will rake this kitchen table of each item.

If you would only slam our bodies into it.

You take everything from me without even noticing you took it..

I am swollen and sore, without you even getting up from your chair.

My imagination is drowning in thoughts of places I am not.

A preoccupation of sorts that is destroying me when I snap back to this empty room.

I try to remember what our hands feel like clasp together….

I chain myself to this chair to prevent myself from making the first move again.

I’ve never been so rejected and so loved and so invisible at the same time.

I don’t love me right now.

I don’t hate me right now.

I don’t know me right now.

Do you?

I am not coming down off this ledge until you make me.

Ball up your fist, and punch me right in the gut.

It is the equivalent of what I feel when I slip through these halls on my own.

I just felt your fingers slowly drift down my chest and stomach….

But you are asleep.

You have ghost hands that follow me around..

Sensing my yearning for just a moment of intimacy from just the tips of your fingers,

Just the slight wetness from your lips.

I want to dilate and descend your pupils just by the moan from the very throat that you are choking

the life from.

Claw these clothes right from my body.

They are simply in the way of the condensation that just your hello drinched me in.

I hear the echoes of our voices from long ago roaming these halls.

They are calling out to us to dance carelessly together, not worrying about the troubles that

Await us tomorrow.

Echo back ghost lover.

Scream into me. Widen my thighs with your standoffishness.

Slap me back into this room with you,

Or continue to break my neck with your silence.

Either way, I love.

Bulletproof, I take every stab. Every claw. Every suffocation you create in me.

Ghost lover, I’ll still be here. Dagger on my side.

I’d Be Your Wife

I am floating in the winds of my mind,

and swimming in the waters of our time.

I am dreaming in the daydreams of all of our plans,

Focusing in on what matters in each moment, and loving all that I can.

You are the brightest piece in my puzzle board,

And the smile my heart prescribes.

I yearn for each and every memory made,

And how our beautiful future fills my insides.

Coffee tastes different now,

And each meal I prepare is prepared with so much love.

I want to pinch myself every morning,

And each and every time we laugh and talk is a gift from above.

Every time our hands touch, I am reminded of how grateful I am,

That no matter what’s going on around us, I am confident that this is God’s plan.

My heart is more open than it ever has been before.

I am constantly in thought of all of the adventures I want to take with you,

So much so, that my imagination just soars.

I want to spend all my years with you,

the good and the bad, through triumphs and the strife.

And through it all, in a perfect world, with nothing in our way,

Nothing would make me happier than to do all of this as your wife.

Life throws every curveball it can at us, trying to take us to the ground,

But no matter what my love, here we are still fighting…

still loving fiercely…

standing strong..

And still around.

So, I devote myself fully to you,

And you to me.

And in this life, we are partners always,

First and foremost,

Fully trusting,

Finally living free.